As he is bound in the middle of the camp, the chief comes up to him and says “in this land, we grant prisoners of war three days before they are executed. Each day, the prisoner can make one request and we will decide if we honor the request or not. What is your first request?” The cowboy thinks for a minute and asks to speak to his horse. The chief grants his request the cowboy whispers something into his horse’s ear. The horse gallops off and returns a couple hours later with a beautiful blonde on its back. The chief shakes his head muttering, ‘white man.’ He shows them to a teepee and leaves. The next day the chief comes to the cowboy and asks “what is your second request?”

“I’d like to speak with my horse please.”

And so, the horse is shown to the cowboy, who whispers into its ear. The horse leaves, only to return with a curvaceous brunette. Again, the chief let’s them use a teepee. “White man, can only think of one thing” he says. The third day arrives. The chief asks “What is your final request?” The cowboy, visibly frustrated, demands to see his horse again. He grabs the horse’s ear and whispers harshly into it “Now listen here you stupid animal!! Posse!! Posse!!”

“””””

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A blonde was walking to her friend’s house. There were 3 boys playing nearby. Seeing the blonde, they stopped her and said “Can you please climb up this tree and get our kite? We tried and failed!”

The blonde says “Sure” and quickly climbs the tree… but doesn’t see the kite anywhere.

She climbs back down and tells the kids, to which they act disappointed but thank her for looking.

She gets to her friend’s house and tells her what just happened.

Friend : “You are so dumb! They tricked you! They just wanted to see your panties!!”

Blonde: “Ha! The trick’s on them! I wasn’t wearing any!”

“””””

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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are – my – test – results – back?”

“””””

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A teacher explained biology to her 3rd-grade students. She said, “Human beings are the only animals that stutter.” A little girl raised her hand saying, “I had a kitty-cat that stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

“Well,” she began, “I was in the backyard with my kitty when the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it,

he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

The teacher exclaimed, “That must’ve been scary.”

The little girl said, “It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss and before she could say ‘Shit,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”

“””””

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