For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties You make the bed…………………………………………..+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows………0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…………………..-1 You leave the toilet seat up………………………………..-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty………………0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…….-1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2 You check out a suspicious noise at night …………………0 You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing……………0 You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something………..+5 You pummel it with a six iron…………………………..+10 It’s her father……………………………………….-10
Social Engagements You stay by her side the entire party…..0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy…….-2 Named Tiffany……………….-4 Tiffany is a dancer………….-6 Tiffany has implants…………-8
Her Birthday You take her out to dinner…………………………….0 You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar ……+1 Okay, it is a sports bar……………………………..-2 And it’s all-you-can-eat night………………………..-3 It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team………………-10
Thoughtfulness You forget her birthday completely……………………-20 You forget your anniversary………………………….-30 You forget to pick her up at the bus station…………..-45 Which is in Newark, New Jersey……………………….-50 And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast……………-60
A Night Out With The Boys Go out with a pal …………………………………..-5 And the pal is happily married ……………………….-4 Or frighteningly single ……………………………..-7 And he drives a Mustang……………………………..-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) …………-15 You have a few beers…………………………………-9 And miss curfew by an hour…………………………..-12 You miss curfew by an hour and you didn’t call…………-20 You get home at 3 am………………………………..-30 You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ..-40
Her Night Out You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work……………..+5 She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real late……….+10 You wait up………………………………………………+15 She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed…+20
A Night Out You take her to a movie…………………………………..+2 You take her to a movie she likes………………………….+4 You take her to a movie you hate ………………………….+6 You take her to a movie you like…………………………..-2 It’s called DeathCop 3……………………………………-3 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ………-15
Flowers You buy her flowers only when it’s expected………………… 0 You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ….+20 You give her wildflowers you’ve actually picked yourself ……+30 And she contracts Lyme disease…………………………….-25
Your Physique You develop a noticeable potbelly………………………….-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it….+10 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…….-30 You say “I don’t give a damn because you have one too”………-800
Finances You spend a lot of money on something impractical…………….-5 Something she can’t use…………………………………..-10 Such as a motorized model airplane………………………….-20 And she got a small appliance for her birthday………………-40
Driving You lost the directions on a trip………………………….-4 You lost the directions and end up getting lost…………….-10 You end up getting lost in a bad part of town ……………..-15 You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal………-25 You know them…………………………………………..-60
The Big Question She asks, “Do I look fat?” ……………………………….-5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit) You hesitate in responding……………………………….-10 You reply, “Where?”………………………………………-35
Communication When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression…………..0 When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes……….+5 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV…+10 She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep……………-20
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