A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: So, where yall from?
The girl from New York said: From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: So, where yall from, BITCH?
——-
.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!”
“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.
“The pub called — you left your wheelchair there again.”
……………..
Get rid of cellulite ! Buy Cellulite Reduction today!
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic:
“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student’s response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence.
“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Again, silence.
“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”
When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”
……………..
Get rid of Acne ! Buy Acne Control today!
True Story from Houston Medical Center (???)
A recent wedding ring story in the local paper:
A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the Nurse attending,
the patient’s girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
I don’t know what’s worse:
1) Having your girl friend find out you’re married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring
……………..
.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com