Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. It was an interesting conversation.

* The first surgeon said, I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.
* The second replied, I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.
* The third added, I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. you open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.
* The fourth one boasted, I like to operate on lawyers. Theyre heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable.
* Fifth surgeon said, I like Engineers. . . they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end….

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A sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept asecret, and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she calls in the doctor. I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him. I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.

And what about the third rose? she asked. Thats from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.

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Seems that, after all these years, the romance and love just wasnt what it used to be for John and Jane. In an attempt to salvage their thirty years of marriage, Jane convices her husband to see a marriage counciler with her.

The counselor asks first asks Jane what she feels the problem is, and before he can even finish his sentece she goes into a tirade listing every single problem the couple has ever had – even before things went south. She goes on and on for nearly an hour, and finishes in tears.

Finally, the counselor gets up from his couch, walks over to Jane, embraces her and begins to kiss her passionately. The woman quiets down, immediately, and sits there in a daze.

The counselor then turns to the John and says, Your wife needs this at least three times a week. For the sake of your marriage, can you can do this? The husband ponders this question for a moment, and confidentally replies, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays…. but on Fridays, I play golf.
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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a local gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately asked her to undress, afterwhich the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

Doing so, he asked her, Do you know what Im doing? Yes, she replied, youre checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities. That is right, said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts. Do you know what Im doing now? he asked. Yes, the woman said, youre checking for any lumps or breast cancer. Correct, replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, Do you know what Im doing now? Yes, she said. Youre getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place.

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