As the young couple prepare to go to bed on their wedding night, the groom says to his bride, “Honey, I have a confession to make. I’m a golf addict. I play whenever I have a minute. I can’t get enough of it. you’ll probably never see me on the weekends.”

His bride looked a little uneasy and then said, “Honey I have a confession also…I’m a hooker.”

“No problem.” Replied the groom, “Just keep your left arm straight and keep that head down. You’ll be hitting them straight in no time.”

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John receives a phone call. “Hello,” he answers.

The voice on the other end says, “This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.”

John: “Hmm… Susan? About 3 months ago?”

Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.”

John: “Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?”

Susan: “I’m pregnant and I’m going to kill myself.”

John: “Say, you ARE a good sport.”

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A building contracter hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinaman. He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs.

The Englishman to shovel a pile of sand. The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck. The Chinaman is in charge of supplies.

The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. ”So have you done the work then?” he asks.

The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinaman didn’t give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow.

The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck.

So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, “SUPPLIES!”

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This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.

The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off, “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.”

The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!”
The second bull is to be sold, “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”

Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s some 5 times a month. What do you say to that?” Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale, “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about you?”

The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, “Sure, once a day! Great! But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!”

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