A twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey with six people on board (the pilot, Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie).

Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded in the luggage compartment and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened and the pilot burst into the compartment.

“Gentlemen,” he said, “I have bad news, and good news, and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey.

The good news is that we can easily parachute to safety. The bad news is that there are only five parachutes.” With that, the pilot threw open the door, grabbed a parachute, and jumped from the plane.

Bill Clinton was right behind him. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the leader of the world’s greatest nation. The world needs great leaders of great nations. I think the world’s greatest leader should have a parachute!” So saying, he grabbed a parachute and followed the pilot out the door.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With those words, he grabbed a parachute and hurtled through the door into the night.

Bill Gates scrambled to his feet and said, “Uh, gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man, and, well, the world needs smart men. So, uh, the world’s smartest man should have a parachute.” Grabbing a parachute, he stumbled out the door.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another calmly for a moment. Finally, the hippie picked up a parachute and held it out to the Dali Lama who said, “My son, I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you. You take the parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie said, “Hey, no sweat, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

“Mommy,” said the little boy, “what are all those ladies doing?”

“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off of work,” she replied.

The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money.”

The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true, mommy?” His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?”

“They mostly become cab drivers,” she replied.

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Viagra, Propecia, Lipitor and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.

The sugar cane farm outside of Crowley Louisiana closes down and 2 cajuns find themselves out of work. They can’t find any work, so one of their friends suggest they visit the state job office in Lafayette.

The job man asks Tibedeaux what he does for a living. Tibedeaux says, “I’m a pilot.” The man says, “Oh good. We got lots of jobs for dem dare pilots. You go sit over dere and we get you fixed right up.” Beaming, Tibedeaux goes to sit down.

Next, the man asks Beaudreaux the same question. Beaudreaux say, “Well… all I ever done is cut down dat sugar cane.” The man says, “Oh. Dat not so good. Not a lot of sugar cane jobs dis year. I might not be able to help you.”

Beadreaux, he gets mad. He says, “Hey! You tell me you can’t help me but you gonna fix my friend up over dere. What’s da matter wid you?”

The man replies that Tibeadeaux is a pilot. Beaudreaux replies: “Well… if I don’t cut it, how he gonna pile it, huh?”
——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

One cajun is working on his boat. Two other cajuns came up and said, “Beadreaux! We got some good news an’ some bad news fo’ you.”

Beadreaux said, “Oh! Giv me dat bad news foist.”

“We just come down from da bayou. Yo wife she floatin’ face down in it — she dead!”

Beadreaux said, “No! No! Oh man… dat terribile news. Wat da good news?”

“She had over two dozen blue crabs on her! We gonna run her again in the mornin’!”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com