A guy went to a travel agent and tried to book a two week cruise for himself and his girlfriend.

The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and things were very tight, but that he would see what he could do.

A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could now get them onto a three day cruise.

The guy agreed and went to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine’s and three condoms.

Next day, the agent called back and said that he now could book a five day cruise.

The guy said, “I’ll take it,” and returned to the same pharmacy, to buy two more Dramamine’s and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent called yet again and said he could now book an eight day cruise.

The guy agreed, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, “Look, if it makes you sick, why do you keep doing it?”

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The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three.”

“Four,” answers the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?”

“A jack,” says the kid.

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There were 2 women, Linda, and Angie standing at the Pearly Gates of heaven, exchanging stories on how they died.

Linda said that she had a heart attack. Angie said that she froze to death.

Angie asked, “How did you manage to have a heart attack?”

Linda said, ” Well it’s a long story, but here is the short version. I suspected my husband was cheating on me so I went home to catch him in the act. When i got home, he was sitting on the couch by himself.”

“I ran upstairs to check all the closets and under the beds and everything. I looked everywhere! I didn’t see anyone upstairs, so I went downstairs and checked all the closets, and cabinets and I didn’t see anybody.”

“After all that running around and excitement, I guess my heart just gave out.”

Angie said, Well if you would have looked in the freezer first, we would both still be alive!!!”

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There were three men stranded on an island and they found a lamp, so they rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie told them they all had one wish.

The first man wished, “I wish I was smartest man on earth”, poof, the wish was granted.

The second man wished, “I wish I was smarter than the first guy”, poof, his wish was granted.

It was the third guy’s turn and he wished, “I wish I was smarter than both of them put together”, poof, he turned into a woman!

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