The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet.

The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.

“That’s OK with me, honey,” says her husband. “I’ll go get some wood for the fire.”

About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue.

“What on earth happened to you dear?” he asks.

“Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don’t allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!”

“Damn those trouble-makers! I’ll fix them!” the husband shouts.

He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar.

“Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!” he shouts.

A huge redneck, about 6′-8,” steps forward, a shotgun in his hand. “I did it,” he bellows. “What you got to say about it?”

The husband answers meekly, “I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry.”

“““““

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde replied, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s just have a nice cup of tea, and then ..” He sighed… “We’ll put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box…”

“““““

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Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob “I’m gonna get me some of that”! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep’s back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says “Do you want some of this”? Billy Bob replies “yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence”.

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A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. “What are you going to do with the money?” asked the policeman.

“Well, I guess I’m going to get a drivers license”, he answered.

“Oh, don’t listen to him,” said a woman in the passenger seat, “He’s a smart aleck when he’s drunk.”

Then the guy in the backseat said, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.”

At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, “Are we over the border yet?”

——-

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