Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”

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A best man’s speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

A classified ad which read “Wife Wanted” received hundreds of responses, all from men saying “You can have mine.”

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband expects his wife to be perfect… and to understand why he’s not.

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Marine Dating  We bring together single members of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, and Firefighters — as well as civilians, veterans.

Q. Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
A. They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!

Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.

Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she’s been laid all over the country.

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one day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past….the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the day was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. the moral or the story is………….the bigger the sausage….the wetter the pussy!

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