He’s got five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, “Maybe I’ll go to that whorehouse I’ve been hearin’ so much ’bout.” The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, “I’ve got 5 bucks, give me your best.”

The man is immediately escorted to a room with a mirror, a couch, and a chicken in the corner. The woman shuts the door. The man reluctantlytakes the chicken and finishes his business. He then realized that that was the best sex he’d ever had.

The following week, the man brings $10 of his hard earned money, and offers it to the woman. He is the whisked off in to a small room with a few benches and a double sided mirror. The small room quickly fills with men and women alike.

Two women walk into the room that the people are viewing. The two lesbians then proceed to make love on the table.

The redneck nudges the man next to him and exclaims, “Damn, for 10 bucks, this is damn good.” The man then chuckles and says, “You should have been here last week, we had a man screwing a chicken.”

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There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde, wanting her to play a game of intelligence.

Finally the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

The lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer.

Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
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A man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, “I’d like to buy those two beautiful ladies a drink.”

The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.”

The man, with a confused look on his face says, “I don’t care what you think, I want to buy those ladies a drink.”

The bartender delivers drinks to the ladies and the women acknowledge their drinks with a nod of their heads. Twenty minutes later, the man approaches the ladies and says, “I’d like to buy you two another drink.”

The women both reply, “It won’t do you any good.”

The man says, “I don’t understand. What do you mean it won’t do me any good?”

The first lady says, “We’re lesbians.”

The man replies, “Lesbians? What are lesbians?”

The second woman replies, “Lesbians… We like to lick pussies.”

The man says, “Bartender, three beers for us lesbians.”

“““““

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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”

“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.”

“Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you’re thinking.”

Little Johnny says, “I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?”

“Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone.”

“No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.”
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