A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Billy Bob, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” Billy Bob answered, “but I don’t think my Pa would like me to.”

“Aw, come on boy,” the farmer insisted.

“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “but my Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Billy Bob thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my Pa is going to be real mad.”

“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is your Pa?”

“Under the wagon.”

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Backhanded Comments…

“That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure.”

“You’re smarter than you look.”

“You don’t sweat that much for a fat girl!”

“Your son is more handsome than I would have expected.”

“You are attractive, for your age.”

“You’re actually kinda cute now that I’ve gotten to know you.”

“You’re not as heavy as people think you are.”

“I’m amazed by the level of success readers have after following your advice.”

“Your plastic surgeon has such a delightful sense of humor!”

“You’re more of a “street smart” kind of guy.”

“You’re not the kind of girl guys date; you’re the kind of girl they marry.”

“You drive very well, for a woman.

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A graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”

A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”

A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”

A graduate with a Law degree asks, “Who gave it a permission to work?”

A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Would you like fries with that?”

“““““

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Two employees for the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, “Geez, you’re old!”

“Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you,” replied the older employee.

“How about a foot race to see if your’e right,” said the younger employee.

With that they start running at full speed around that block. The older man kept up with the younger man around the first corner, the second corner, the third corner. As they come up on the last corner, the younger man sees an eldery woman running as fast as her legs could carry her. Puzzled by this, they both stop ask her why she was running behind them.

The old woman caught her breath and said, “Well, you were at my home checking my gas meter, and when I saw you running away, I figured I’d better run too!”

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