A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, “I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop.”

The bartender said, “There is no way you can do that. Sure, I’ll bet you three hundred dollars.”

The man then begins to undo his pants and begins pissing. He starts pissing all over the bar, spraying on the bottles and the bartender, not making a single drop in the cup.
The bartender starts smiling and laughing and says, “That’s it, you owe me three hundred dollars.”

The man then gets up and walks over to the pool table and starts laughing and shaking hands with the men standing there. He walks back to bar, sits down and starts laughing at the bartender and hands him the money.

The bartender asks, “Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet.”

The man said, “I’m laughing because I bet those guys over there one thousand dollars that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would still be laughing when I was done.”

“““““

Funny Facebook Likes : DoLikes.com

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you’re thinking.”

Little Johnny says, “I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?”

“Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone.”

“No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.”

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants s*x, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me….

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!