A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.

Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a
blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So
she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, “What are you doing?” The first blonde told her how the repairman had
instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, “Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first..”

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Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman.

He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route.

When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts.

After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some ‘desert.’ Joe happily accepts again. When they are done, the woman gives him a dollar.

Joe asks what the dollar is all about.

The woman replies: “It was my husband’s suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me ‘Fuck him — give him a dollar.’ The lunch was my idea.”

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One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one.”

The man thought for a minute and said, “I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I’m afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.”

The genie thought for a minute and said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, “Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?”

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

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One day in class…

Teacher: “Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?”

Student: ” Smo-king”, Drin-king and Fuc-king”