A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?” A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC (Private First Class) who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.

“Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

“““““

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A new nurse is being given the tour of his new workplace. He and a fellow nurse walk the hallways of the hospital. Passing one of the rooms he sees a nurse mounted on top of a patient having rough passionate sex.

“What on earth is this nurse doing?!” He asked. The other nurse casually replies “this man has a very rare condition. If he doesn’t ejaculate 6 or more times a day, his balls fill up with pressure and literally explode.”

The new nurse, stunned, but content with the answer continues on with his tour of the hospital. A few doors down he sees a man bored and sighing, masturbating to a hardcore porn.

“And this man? ” the new nurse asked.

The other nurse response “Oh, this man? He has the same condition as the patient with the exploding balls a few doors down. But that patient has better insurance.”

“““““

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For a couples anniversary, this guys wife wants to get the words “beautiful butt” tattoo’d across her ass, since he’s always saying how beautiful her butt is.

She goes to get the tattoo, but the artist says that the words are too long and she doesn’t have enough room. She decided to abbreviate the words to BB, one B on each cheek. The artist says he can do that.

She gets home to find her husband in bed reading. She strips for him, and turns around and bends over and grabs her ankles. Her husband looks at her ass and says “Who the hell is BOB?”

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Criss Angel and Houdini walk into a bakery. Criss palms 3 Donuts with one hand and puts them in his pocket without anyone noticing. He says, “Do you see how masterful I am Houdini, I make donuts disappear at will!”

Houdini responds, “Not bad, not bad at all.”

Houdini then goes to the Bakery owner and asks him if he wants to see a magic trick. The curious owner answers, “Of course!”

Houdini proceeds to ask him for a Doughnut, and then eats it. He asks him for another one, and then eats it as well. He then asks him for a third one, which the owner reluctantly gives up.

“So where is the magic trick? I gave you 3 donuts already!”

Houdini responds, “Go check Criss Angel’s pocket.”

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