A native american hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation.
As they were driving along, the indian noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents. The city man replied: “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife”.
The Indian looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said: “Good trade”.
Bill, 80, married Carrie, a lovely 24 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Carrie decides that after their wedding she and Bill should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Carrie prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Bill, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Bill takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Carrie hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Bill,
Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Carrie consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done, Bill kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Bill is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’.
And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Bill gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Bill.’
Bill, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Carrie and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’
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The Police, the Interpol and the CIA are participating in a contest to see which agency is best at tracking down criminals. So they devise a contest where they release a mouse in the jungle and after 30 minutes each agency goes out to find it. The agency that takes the least time catching the mouse wins.
They get the contest starting and the Police goes first. They let the mouse go and with their informant network they arrive 3 hours later with the mouse.
Then goes the Interpol. They let the mouse go and with their communication network and international contacts, they arrive 1 hour later with the mouse.
Finally the CIA goes after the mouse. Their agent go running into the jungle, and 10 minutes later they arrive with a beaten up crocodile screaming “I’m the mouse! I’m the mouse!
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Why are male bathrooms on the left, and female bathrooms on the right?
Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they’re full of shit.