A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident. The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.

The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up. While at the bar, he’s still just sitting there looking depressed, not really talking. One of his friends suggests he tries to talk to a cute girl who seems alone at the bar.

“No, she’ll never go for a man with a wooden eye,” the man says.

“Okay, how about that girl over there?” His friend responds. “She has a really big nose”.

The man walks over to the girl and asks, “Would you like to dance?”

Very excited, and shocked, to be asked to dance by such an attractive man, the woman responses “Would, I?! Would I?!”

To which the man quickly responds “Big nose! Big nose!”

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An Asian guy and this girl are driving in a car. The girl decides it would be nice of her to give the guy a blowjob. They both agree.

She starts to take off his pants, but before she gets past his underwear the girl looks up and says”Is it true what they say about Asian guys?” and he turns to her and says” Sadly it is.” then he crashes the car and they both die.

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I met this girl the other day and she took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly.

I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open.

“Oh shit , it’s my boyfriend ! ” she exclaimed “Quick, use the backdoor” .

Now it’s at about this time I probably should have left….. ……but you just don’t get an offer like that every day.

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Little Tommy was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, ‘Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. ‘It’s called sexual intercourse , darling.

Little Tommy said, ‘Oh, OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse . It’s called Bunk Beds.

And Randy ‘s mum wants to talk to you.’

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