I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
There is a new trend in our startup; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I work to buy a car to go to work.
We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Teamwork in StartUps is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
In my experience there’s two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way.
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
^^^^^^
Awesome new Startups listed at BlastStartups.com may be the next Big Thing.