A man saw a lady with big breasts.
He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?”
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner.
She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.”
Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?”
He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”
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Yo mama so fat…
She go out in high heels and come back in flats!
I pictured her in my head and I broke my neck.
Her selfies are taken on panoramic mode.
When she sits on the bus, she sits ON the bus
Her blood type is ragu rich and meaty.
When she put a teaspoon of water in the bathtub it overflowed
shes on both sides of the family
she has two watches one for each time zone she’s in.
she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
she wears neck deodorant
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A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop’s expense!
Irish cop says,”License and registration, please.”
London Lawyer says, “What for?”
Irish cop says,”Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”
London Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”
Irish cop says,”Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please”
London Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”
Irish cop says, “The difference is, ye havte come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration,please!”
London Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”
Irish cop says, “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, “Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? ”
^^^^^^
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Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully, the divorce court judge said, ” and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week. “.
“That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself. ”