ll of the organs are deciding who should be in charge.

“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “I run all the body’s systems, without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the heart, “I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over.”

“No! I should be in charge,” said the stomach, “I process the food that gives us energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “without me the body couldn’t go anywhere.”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “I allow the body to see where it goes.”

“I should be in charge,” said the anus, “I am responsible for waste removal.”

All of the other body parts laughed at the anus and insulted him. So he shut down. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the heart pumped toxic blood. They all decided that the anus should be the boss.

What is the moral of the story? Even though everybody else does all of the work, the ass hole is usually in charge.

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A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y.

Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y tattoo on his penis.

The young man said to him “Oh is your girl named Wendy too?” The Jamaican replied, “No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day”.

“““““

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So a guy walks into a bank in Manhattan and asks for the loan officer.

The loan officer comes over immediately.

“How can I help you, sir?” he asks.

“I’m going out of town on business for two weeks and need to borrow $5,000,” the man answers.

The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan.

So, the man holds out his hand and opens his palm, saying, “These are the keys to my car, which is sitting out front.”

“Here are the documents, as well,” he says as he hands over a tiny stack of papers.

The loan officer peeks out the window and sees a brand new Ferrari parallel parked directly in front of the bank.

“One moment, please.”

The loan officer walks into a back office to consult with the president of the bank. Everything checks out.

So, after sharing a laugh with the president at this man leaving a $750,000 car as security for a $5,000 loan, the loan officer returns and tells the man that they will happily accept the Ferrari.

An employee of the bank then drives the car into the bank’s underground garage and parks it.

Two weeks later, the man returns and pays the $5,000 plus interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer smiles and says, “Sir, we are very happy to have your business. This transaction has worked out very nicely.”

Then he adds, “But to be honest, we are a little bit puzzled.”

“While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. So what puzzled us is why you’d bother to borrow $5,000?”

The man replies, “Where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for just $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

“““““

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A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks up and says “Hey koala what are you doing?”

The koala answers “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”

The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink.

The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, “What’s wrong with you, lizard?”

The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too stoned and fell in while taking a drink.

The croc has to see this for himself, so he asks the lizard to take him to the koala. When they get back to the tree, the croc looks up at the koala and says “Hey, you.”

The koala looks down and says “Shiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?”

“““““

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