Yo mama so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

yo momma so that archaeologists found ancient pottery in her vagina.

Yo mamma so old, her memory is in black and white .

Yo mamma so old, she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.

. . . . . . . .

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So a elementary teacher is giving candy to all her students. While doing this she is having them all guess what flavor each candy is.

After giving the first piece to the whole class she asks the class what flavor it was. They all said grape.

The next flavor of candy was guessed to be orange and the flavor after that cherry.

She gives out a final piece of candy to all the students. but no one can guess what flavor it is. The flavor being Honey she gives the class a hint “It’s what your mommy sometimes calls your daddy”

After thinking for a bit the boy in the back screams “Spit it out, it’s asshole”

. . . . . . . .

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The man went up to her and asked her if they could bang, and the nun, who is definitely appalled, immediately gets off at the next stop.

A couple stops later the man goes to the bus driver and asks him, “Hey do you know how you can bang a nun? Particularly the one who got off a couple stops back.”

So the bus driver says, “Well, you can’t really just go up to a nun and get her to bang you, but I know for a fact that that every night that nun goes to the graveyard at exactly midnight to pray. You should dress up in your best God costume and make her have sex with you.”

The man is impressed, and decides to do just that. So he goes to the graveyard in his best God costume, and waits behind a gravestone. At exactly midnight, the nun enters and kneels at a tombstone, and beings to pray. He then jumps out and says “I am God!”

The nun is surprised and says “Oh Lord, please take me with you to heaven!” The man says, “Of course! But you must prove yourself worthy by having sex with me!” The nun a bit more surprised and says, “Ok, but I prefer anal.”

The man thinks ‘Wait what?’ but doesn’t give enough shits to not have sex with the hot nun. So they bang.

After he finishes he pulls out and takes off his mask, laughing. “Ha! Joke’s on you! I’m the guy from the bus!” He says.

The nun then gets up, pulls off her mask, and says, “Ha! Joke’s on you! I’m the bus driver!”

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A pregnant woman was shot during a bank robbery. After being rushed to the hospital and treated in the ER, the doctor tells her some good and bad news. The good news is that she’s having triplets, all boys and they’re all healthy, the bad news is that they’ve each got a bullet inside of them and will pass this Bullet naturally in +- 18 years.

18 years later, the mother was sitting in her front room when her son bursts into the room, panicked, “Mom, mom! You won’t believe what just happened, I was peeing and a bullet came out of me and into the toilet.” She laughed and told her son the story of when she was shot while pregnant.

A couple of months later, her other son burst into the room, panicked, telling her that he had peed out a bullet. She told him the story and they all had a good laugh about it.

About a week later, her third son came into the room she was sitting in, looking pale and very disturbed. “Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out of you?” She said, slightly amused. “No, I was jerking off in my room and I shot the dog.”

——-

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