Wife One or Two Liners

A man noticed his credit card has been stolen – but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.โ€œ

My wife has this really weird fetish where she likes to dress up as herself and act like a total bitch.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose; last night she used me to time an egg. ~Rodney Dangerfield

My wife told me today that I’m gonna become a father for the very first time; the bad news is โ€“ we already have two kids. ~Brian Kiley

My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

Wife to her husband while at it: “Please say dirty things to me!”, Husband: “Bath, Kitchen, Living room…”

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money.

Honey, do you think I gained weight?….No, I think the living room got smaller.

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Role Play Dating at RolePlayMatch.com is very specific fetishes like Santa, lift and carry or human furniture.