A drunk man stumbles put of a bar and sees two priests walking across the street. He staggers towards the two priests and stops in front of them.

He turns to the first priest and proudly says, “I’m Jesus Christ!”

The first priest shakes his head and replies, “No, son, you’re not.”

He then turns to the second priest and says again, “I’m Jesus Christ!”

Again, the second priest replies, “No, son, you’re not.”

The drunk man finally says, “Follow me, I’ll prove it too you!”

Curious, the two priests follow behind him as he walks back into the bar.

Immediately upon entering, the bartender takes one look at the man and says, “Jesus Christ, you’re here again?!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor and decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them up since they had enough in the bag.

Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You…”.

He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to a nearby church requesting for the priest. “Father, pls come with me. Come and witness God and Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”.

They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You…”. Suddenly, the voice stopped counting and said: “What About The Two At The Gate? Let’s get them”.

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane… Only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

He sits them all down and tells them: “There is bound to come a time in this company when you will hit a sudden economic crisis. When these times come you must know how to cut down on expenses and do the best you can with what budget you have. ” He then proceeds to give them each 1000 dollars, and tells them that he will come back to the mine in a week, and see which of them have been able to move the most ore with the money they were given.
He returns after one week to check up on them, and approaches his oldest son.

“How much digging have you been able to do?” He asks

“3 tons of ore, father. I used 300 dollars to buy a broken digger, I then used my business contacts to find a mechanic willing to fix it for just 200 dollars if I gave his 5 kids a job. The youth is so desperate for a job this day, they will do 12 hour shifts even for an internship, and I only had to pay them 100 dollars each for a week of work”
The father pats his son proudly on the shoulder before moving on to his middle child, asking him how much mining he had been able to do as well.

“10 tons of ore, father. I used 100 dollars to run a local ad in the newspaper asking for workers, then took in 75 undocumented immigrants who all brought their own tools and shovels. They’re all so afraid of being taken by immigration that they’re willing to work for half minimum wage.”

The father looks skeptically at his son for a while, but notices the massive piles of ore the workers are carrying out, and gives him a nod before carrying on to his youngest son.

“How much mining have you been able to do?” Asks the father

“35 tons, dad, but I didn’t use any of the budget.”

The father looks at him in awe, his jaw dropping “How were you able to move 35 tons of ore for free!?”

“I invited a bunch of conspiracy theorists. They just keep digging deeper and deeper thinking they’re going to find something, and every time I tell them to take a break they accuse me of trying to withhold the truth from them!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.