A Bilingual Joke: A Colombian man goes into a department store

A Colombian man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can’t find what he’s looking for and he doesn’t know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, “Tienes calcetines?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is,” the salesperson says.

The guy tries again. “Medias?” He asks, miming pulling up socks. The salesperson brings him to the trouser section.
“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero medias, calcetines,” he says.

And so it goes for nearly an hour. Finally, almost by accident, the salesperson leads him to the sock section.
The Spanish guy, excited, points and shouts, “Eso sí que es!”

The salesperson’s jaw drops and he says, “Well, why didn’t you TELL me you knew how to spell it?”

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Lucky number 7

A man wakes up and looks at his clock. It is 7:07 am.

He gets out of bed, goes downstairs and glances at his calendar. It says it is July 7, the seventh day of the seventh month.

As he steps outside he notices Bus #7 going by. He walks to a coffee shop and orders a coffee and a bite to eat and the bill comes to $7.77.
The man thinks “hmmmm… all these sevens… I think the universe is trying to tell me something.”

So feeling that maybe this is his lucky day, the man cuts out early from work and goes to the race track. He reads the racing schedule and sees that in the seventh race horse # 7 is called “Lucky Universe”. The man can’t believe it. He runs up to the teller and bets all his money on the horse.

The horse came in seventh.

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Ventriloquist and the farmer

A ventriloquist was walking past a farm and saw a farmer sitting on his porch. “I’m gonna screw with this guy” he thought and walked over to say hi.

“Hello farmer. I can talk to animals. Mind if I talk to your dog?”

The farmer scoffed, “Sure buddy. That dog hasn’t ever said a word to me but good luck anyway!” He chuckled.

“How’s it going dog? Is the farmer a good master?” The ventriloquist throws his voice.

“Oh yeah! He takes me for walks and gives me treats. He’s a good farmer!” Says the dog. The farmer is amazed!! “Why that mutt ain’t never said nothing to me!”

The ventriloquist says”I told you! I can talk to animals! Mind if I talk to your horse?”

The farmer is on the edge of his seat! “Yessir please do! I can’t believe this!”

“Hey horse, how’s it going? Is this farmer a good master?” The ventriloquist says.

“Yes he is!” Says the horse”he bought me a new saddle and gives me the best hay. He’s a good farmer”

Again, the farmer is stunned. “That’s amazing! I never heard that horse talk in my life!”

The ventriloquist smirks. “Glad to hear these animals love you! Mind if I talk to your sheep?”

“That sheep’s a liar!”

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A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood

A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name. He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her.

She named the baby girl “Love” inspired in the same spirit as Carol’s unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

She came home from school one day and screamed at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name.

Carol took the blame to protect his wife and apologized.

In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away.

Minutes later, Carol’s wife came home and saw him lying on the ground.

“What happened?!” she asked, running to him.

He waved her closer, and whispered, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name.”

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