A mouse was sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar. The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink…

Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink.

After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together.

The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the barstool and sat there gasping for air.

His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out.

The bartender took one look and said, “How did it go last night?”

The mouse said, “Man, that was the best sex I ever had.”

The bartender asked, “Why do you look so bad?”

The mouse replied, “Hey, between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run 10 miles!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

A mother and her young son were flying on Virgin Australia, from Brisbane to Melbourne. The son turned to his mother and asked: “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy asked the flight attendant: “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, how come big planes don’t have baby planes?”

The flight attendant responded: “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy admitted that this was the case.

“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Virgin Australia always pulls out on time. Ask your mother to explain that to you.”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

Dugly gets a New Secretary and he faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband’s roving eye.

Amy (Dugly’s wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?”

Dugly: “Didn’t quite notice.”

Amy: “What color are her eyes?”

Dugly: “Haven’t had the time to check.”

Amy: “What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon ?”
Dugly: “Not a clue in the world.”

Amy: “Does she wear matte, glossy or frosted lipstick?”

Dugly: “I barely spoke to her, so don’t know.”

Amy: “How does she dress?”

Dugly: “Very quickly”

“““““

Find Career Dating at ProfessionalDaters.com to meet employed business professionals.

The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded affirmatively…

“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded once more.

“So…” the coach continued. “I’m sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb asshole, is it?”

The little boy nodded yet again.

“Good.” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.