Dugly was 40 years old, but still a virgin. He tried everything possible to get laid, but to no avail. So as a last resort, he decided to pray to the angels up in heaven.

He made it a habit of praying, before going to bed. 10 years passed and on his 50th birthday, an angel appeared before him and Dugly told the angel what he wanted. The angel replied “You see Dugly, I’m just a Tier 3 angel, and I don’t have the authority to grant such wishes”, and then disappeared.

Dugly wasn’t discouraged one bit. He continued his praying rituals.10 more years went by,and on his 60th birthday, another angel appeared and Dugly presented his wish. The angel replied, ” You see Dugly, I’m just a tier 2 angel and I don’t have the power to grant such wishes”, and then disappeared.

Dugly was steadfast in his quest. He continued his praying rituals, and on his 70th birthday another angel appeared. Dugly by now was a desperate man.Age had caught upto him and he could hardly get erections.It was now or never.

He was almost in tears and told the angel “I’ve been praying to angels for the past 30 years, and the last two angels who appeared before me couldn’t help me out; You are my last hope”
The angel replied “Dugly, you have nothing to worry about. I am a Tier 1 angel, and I can grant you any wish”.

Dugly was thrilled to hear this and told the angel his wish
” I’m 70 years old and yet I haven’t had the pleasure of bedding a woman. I wish with all my heart that I don’t die a virgin”.

The angel smiled, and with a small snap of her finger, granted his wish.
Dugly was immortal now.

“””””

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to a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and high heel shoes came to his table and asked if he was ready to order:

“What would you like, sir?”

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame from her hair to her shoes, then answers, “A quickie.”

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.

After she regains her composure she returns and asks again,
“What would you like, sir?”

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,
“A quickie, please.”

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,

“Um, I think it’s pronounced ‘QUICHE.'”

“””””

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An old millionaire is asked how he gained his wealth. He says: “When I was a young man in the middle of the Great Depression, all I had was five cents.

With that five cents, I bought an apple, shined and scrubbed it all day, and at the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents. With the ten cents, I bought two apples, scrubbed and shined them all day, and at the end of the day, I sold them for twenty cents.

This went on for a week. Then my uncle died and left me twenty million dollars.”

“””””

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At a Russian communist party meeting, an officer is drilling a local worker.

He asks him: “Comrade, if you had two houses, would you give one to the Communist Party?”

The worker responds “Yes, definitely, comrade, I would give one of my houses to the party!”

Then he asks “Comrade, if you had two cars, would you give one to the party?”

Again, the worker says, “Yes, I would give one of my cars to the party!”

Finally, the officer asks, “If you had two shirts, would you give one to the party?”
“Nyet!”

The officer asks “But why? Why won’t you give one of your shirts to the party?”

The worker says: “Because I HAVE two shirts!”

“””””

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