There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, “What is a penis?”

The boy replied, “I don’t know.” At that time he hears his mom calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch.

Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and asks him, “What is a penis?” The dad whips his out and says to the boy, “This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis.”

The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, “This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!”

“””””

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A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well.. My oldest son just came out as gay” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar.

The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out as gay.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves.

He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son came out as gay.” He drinks his shots and leaves.

The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”

“””””

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Jose and Rosa are running a cantina in Mexico. One day Jose having a siesta and Rosa is looking after the bar.

One of the patrons is getting very drunk on tequila and he says “Hey Rosa, I want to kiss you all over your body.”

Rosa says “Pees off you peeg.”

So he carries on drinking and a while later he says “Hey Rosa, I want to feel your titties.”
Rosa says “Pees off you peeg.

So he carries on drinking and a while later he says “Hey Rosa, I want to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out.

So Rosa storms up the stairs and wakes Jose. She says “Jose, Jose there is a man in the cantina. He says he wants to kiss me all over my body.”

Jose jumps off the bed and grabs his machete. He says “Where is he? I will cut him in half.”
Rosa says “That’s not all, he says he wants to feel my titties.”

Jose says “Where is he, I will cut in half twice.”

Rosa says “That’s not all, he says he wants to fill my pussy with ice cream and eat it all out.”
Jose looks disappointed, he puts the machete down and lies down on the bed again.

Rosa says “Are you not going to cut him in half Jose.”

Jose says “No, any man that can eat that much ice cream is too big for me to fight with.”

“””””

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A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they’ll grant 3 requests before they scalp him/

The cowboy thinks a minute then says, ” I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free.”

So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off into the sunset. He tells the chief he needs to mull over the third request and the chief agrees to wait until sunset.

As the sun dips in the sky, here comes the horse back, with a beautiful brunette in the saddle.

“Is this your last request?” the chief asks.

“Uh, no,” says the cowboy.

“My last request is to say goodbye to my horse once more.”

“Ok…” says the chief. The cowboy leans into his horses ear and hisses,

“You idiot! I said ‘Posse! Posse!”

“””””

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