Upon Arriving Home, A Husband Was Met At The Door By His Sobbing Wife Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a few words, the druggist told him,

“Now, just a minute, please listen to my side of it… This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bunch of perfume bottles on it…all of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it.

It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer…and, honest mister, all I did was tell her!

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $9.99.

Two prawns, named Christian and Billy are off on their morning swim.

Soon they discover a codfish caught in a six pack ring. Cursing the humans, Christian and Billy help the poor fish out of his predicament. Now freed, he begins to glow mysteriously.

“Thank you,” he says. “My name is Cod, and I’m a wish-granting codfish. I’d like to grant each of you one wish for saving me.”

Christian thinks and says, “I wish to be attractive to lady prawns.” Cod grants his wish.

Billy thinks and says, “I’m tired of being the bottom of the food chain. Make me into a dangerous predator.”

So Cod turns Billy into a shark and swims away. Of course, Christian is terrified, swims under a pile of rocks and refuses to come out, no matter what Billy says.

Distraught, Billy seeks out the magic codfish once again. As he swims, most fish flee at the sight of him, or keep pace just behind his fins.

Finally he finds the codfish, this time stuck in a bicycle wheel. Billy frees him and wishes to go back to how he was. Then, wish granted, he happily swims back home to his friend, still under the pile of rocks.

“I have wonderful news,” says Billy. “My journey has been long and arduous, but I’ve found Cod, and I’m a prawn again, Christian!”

——-

Catholic & Christian Dating websites to find love at DatingVille.com

A guy goes to a party and meets a gorgeous girl on a wheel chair. They hit it off and by the end of the night they’re both really horny and she tells him to go to her place. When they arrive to the doorstep she grabs a duffel bag that was hidden behind a bush and instructs the guy to take her to the back of the house.

The guy is a little weirded out, but he obligues. When they get there she starts undressing and pulls a harness out of the bag, instructing the guy to install it on the tree and help her to get “in position”. They have weird but awesome sex, and when they’re done he lifts her from the harness, sits her on the wheelchair and helps her get inside her home. As he is walking away the door opens again, and he sees the father of the girl calling him.

He starts walking a little faster trying to get away from the angry dad, but he keeps calling him, and at the end he stops, bracing himself. The dad catches up to him, and tells him “Every Saturday morning I wake up to my naked daughter hanging from a tree, I just wanted to thank you for helping her get inside the house”

“””””

Trekkie Dating at TrekkieMatch.com is where you go to meet people that really love Star Trek !

Charlie and Roy are elderly friends who die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks And go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them

‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?’

Charlie replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.’

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat even more.

When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota, the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished and exclaims,

‘Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?’

Roy replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis nice.’

The devil is absolutely furious.

He can hardly see straight.

Finally he comes up with the answer.

The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives.

The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell.

The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with Charlie and Roy.

He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens.

They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like madmen.
The devil is dumbfounded,

‘I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?’

They both look at the devil in surprise and say,
‘Vell, don’t ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.

“””””

Loco Domains has .info domains for only $4.99, .com only $9.99.