“Dugly, what the hell is this!?” his wife demanded, pulling a large hoop earring from her purse. “I found it in your f*!king car!”
“Um, that’s, uh… that’s m..my earring, honey,” Dugly stammered, sweat beading on his brow. “I..I heard the pirate look was all the rage now.”
“I didn’t know your ears were pierced,” said Debbie, narrowing her eyes.
“Oh, sure! I, uh, I had them pierced the other day!” Dugly exclaimed, taking the hoop from Debbie’s hand. He then punched the earring’s dull pin through his virgin lobe, wincing underneath his forced smile. Blood began trickling down his neck as he said, “S..see?”
“Uh-huh.” said Debbie skeptically. “And what about this? I found it in your car, too.” she stated, producing a 12″ chartreuse rubber dildo from her purse.
Dugly, sweating profusely, slowly began to unfasten his belt…
“””””
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