A man buys a paint factory in a small town. He visits the local volunteer fire department to see for himself if they’d be able to handle a fire at his plant. What he finds convinces him they could not…the whole fire department consists of one old pumper truck and a bunch of volunteers he finds less than reliable. He tells them “Boys, I’m sorry to tell you this but I’m not confident you could handle a fire at my plant. I’m going to contract with the nearby big-city fire department”.

A few months later the unthinkable happens and the plant catches fire. The owner calls the big-city fire department, and when they show up the fire chief decides that it’s just too dangerous to approach the plant. He decides to set up a roadblock to prevent anyone from going near it, and they begin to wait it out. Just then the local boys come barreling down the road, fire bell clanging and siren blaring . The driver is waving his arms to get the big-city firemen to move out of the way, and crashes right through the barricades. They smash through an overhead door into the plant, set up a few hoses and start fighting the fire. The guys without hoses grab shovels and start flinging dirt onto the fire.

The big-city fire chief sees this and shouts “C’mon boys, let’s get in there and help ’em out!” After a few hours their efforts pay off, and they manage to save a large portion of the plant. The owner is happy as he can be, and tells the local fire chief “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! Thank you! I’m going to write you a check and donate $10,000 to your fire department! Do you have any idea how you’re going to spend it?” The local chief thinks for a moment and says:

“Well, I don’t know what we’re going to do with the rest, but first thing tomorrow morning that fire engine is getting new brakes!”

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The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the Canadian Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the Canadian Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’

‘Yes,’ the man at Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the Canadian Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’

‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting an astounding amount of firewood !’

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A blonde boards a plane, flying economy. Once the plane has taken off, and the seatbelt signs have turned off, she gets up, takes her stuff, and moves a few rows forward to an unoccupied first class seat.
One of the cabin crew approaches her, and politely says “excuse me madame, but you can’t sit here. This is a first class seat, and you’ve only paid for an economy seat. I must kindly ask you to return to the seat you paid for.”

She looks up at the attendant, and quite pompously announces “I’m young, I’m beautiful, I’m flying to Los Angeles, and I want to fly first class, so I’m not moving.”
The attendant retreats, somewhat flustered. He speaks to the cabin chief, who approaches the woman and tells her the same thing: “madame, please return to the seat you bought.”
The same response… “I’m young, I’m beautiful, I’m flying to Los Angeles, and I want to fly first class. I’m not moving.”

The cabin chief speaks to the cockpit crew. The copilot smiles and says, “don’t worry – I’m married to a blonde, I know how to speak to them.” He calmly gets up and approaches the woman, asking her to move. Same response. Then he bends down and whispers something to her, whereupon she promptly gets up, takes her belongings, and returns to her original seat.

The cabin crew are stunned. The chief approaches the copilot and asks, “what the hell did you say to her?!”
“It’s quite simple really. When she said she was flying to Los Angeles, I said: yes madame, but you see, first class isn’t going to Los Angeles, only economy is.”

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Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer : Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer : In the Barn
Interviewer: And the White one?
Farmer: In the Barn
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy… What do
you feed them?
Farmer: which one..black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: (Annoyed?) but why do you keep on asking if the black one or the white one when your answers are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Its also mine.

“””””

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