Dugly rented an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive girl with a big booty came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

Dugly smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Dugly broke out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact and not look at her curves.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment. I hear someone coming.”

He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off. Now completely naked, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

Flustered and embarrassed, Dugly finally squeaked, “It’s got to be your ears!”

Astounded and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts they are full and 100% natural! Look at my butt, it’s perfect and firm, I work out every day! Look at my skin—no blemishes anywhere! How can you feel that the best part of my body is my ears?!”

Clearing his throat, Dugly stammered, “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming?”
“Yes.”

“Well, that was me.”

——-
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Two 17 year old brothers are fishing at the lake near their grandparents house in the woods, they get tired and decide to go back to the house. They are walking in the woods when the game warden jumps out of the bushes and asks to see their fishing licensees.

Instinctively one of the brothers sprints past the game warden, the game warden runs after him and eventually catches up with him and asks to see his license, the boy shows it to him right away and the game warden asks him why he ran if he had his license. The boy responded “because my brother didn’t have his.”

“””””

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My wife asked when I knew I loved her. I said “We were in Rome, the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you.

But I never felt you were condescending to me when I’d ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could. I’d been bored by all the old building, but you brought it all to life. I think that weekend, was when I realised you could be the best thing about my life.”

She didn’t speak for a while, just looked at until she said three words.

“Our tenth anniversary?”

“””””

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Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to start dating this awesome girl.”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Amy, the neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Amy is actually your sister.”

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”

Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Tina, the other neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Tina is also your sister.”

This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: “Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can’t start dating any of them because dad is their father!”

The mother hugs him affectionately and says, “You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your father!”

“””””

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