A Bodybuilder barges into a bar feeling all pumped up to bang a chick. He is confronted with this sexy bimbo waitress who falls head over heals for him.

The guy shows off his muscles and winks at this girl, she responds with A flying kiss of her own. This continues for a while when finally the girl invites this dude to sleep with her at her place. He accepts gleefully. In the room The girl is lying on the bed and the hunk starts to strip off. He takes off his shirt pointing towards his biceps, says “Look at them, these are one thousand pounds of dynamite”

The girl gets blown away at this sight. Next goes off his pants and the focus is on his thighs, saying “Look at them, these are one thousand pounds of dynamite” Now she’s starting to get wet and all ready for the trailor to ride home as the only thing left are the underpants.

The Bodybuilder pulls out the jack pot and lets loose of his jumbo. On sight of his dick the girl, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh……….. Get away from me” runs away. The guy eventually catches up and asks “What the hell happened?” Girl “Danger! Danger! I had to go, I was scared” Guy “What do you mean?” Girl “With two thousand pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse I thought you were about to explode”

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A man wants to go fishing with his wife and dog.

So he walks up to his wife and says: “Honey, we’re going fishing; you, me and the dog.”

She replies, “I don’t wanna go fishing.”

Man says, “Well, you will either go fishing with me, let me fuck you in the ass, or suck my dick. I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.”

15 minutes later, he asks, “So have you made up your mind?”

She replies, “I guess I’ll just suck your dick since I really don’t wanna go fishing.”

So the wife starts sucking his dick and almost throws up. She says, “Wtf your dick tastes like shit!”

The man replies, “Yeah, the dog didn’t wanna go fishin’ either.”

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A man goes to the doctors complaining of hemorrhoids. Doctor takes a look and exclaims “wow, that’s pretty bad, but have these suppositories that will fix that up right away. Come back in a week and we can re-assess.”

The guy comes back in a week. Doctor: So? How are you feeling? Guy: doc it’s even worse. Doctor: Really? I am surprised those suppositories are the best on the market. Guy: Doc, for the amount of good they did I could have shoved them up my ass.

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A Jewish son tells his father he is moving out. The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity.

The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.” His friend says, “you won’t believe this…my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”!

Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened. The rabbi says, “you won’t believe this, my son Joshua moved away and when HE came back he told me he converted to Christianity too”!

The rabbi suggests they call God and tell him. The rabbi tells God that all three men had sons who moved away and converted to Christianity and don’t know what to do. God says to them, “you won’t believe this…”

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