A group of nuns is visiting the zoo. They are outside the gorilla enclosure when one of the gorillas breaks out, grabs one of the nuns, takes her back inside, and proceeds to have his way with her for several hours until they are able to get her back.

A few weeks later, back at the convent, she is approached by one of the other nuns who says, “How are you doing? I know it must be horrible.” And the nun replies, “It is. He never calls, he never writes . ..”

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A married couple are sitting in bed looking at their phones when the husband stumbles upon an article about the sex lives of married couples and those in long term relationships. He reads about how, after a certain period of time, couples can fall into bad habits and patterns, primarily of which is a lack of communication – especially when making love.

“Honey,” he begins. “This article I’m reading says that sometimes that couples can enter stages of not sharing what they feel during sex. Sometimes with women not telling their partners they’ve climaxed for whatever reason. Honey, you’ll tell me the next time you have an orgasm, won’t you?”

The wife looks up from her phone and gives her husband a loving smile. “I would,” she says. “But you know I don’t like bothering you at work.”

“””””

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