James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldnt wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. Who the hell are you, demanded James, and what are you doing in my bedroom? The mysterious man answered This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter.
James didnt take the news so well…. You mean Im dead! That cant be, I have so much to live for, I havent even said goodbye to my family…. youve got to send me back right away!
St. Peter replied You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James. However, you can be reincarnated – but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen. James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking at corn on the ground. This aint so bad, he thought until he felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said So youre the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here? Its not so bad replies James, but I have this strange feeling inside like Im about to explode. Youre ovulating explained the rooster, havent you ever laid an egg before?
Never replies James.
Well just relax and let it happen.
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him – emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him…. ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shout James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, youre sh*tting the bed!
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